So I’m trying this thing out where I actually keep up with this blog. And you can tell I’m serious because I used the word ‘blog’ and I absolutely hate that word. Also the words ‘panties’ and ‘beefcake’. I have no idea why, but I do.
However, two weeks into the new year and BLAMMO! Things are getting all viral up in this house. And by ‘viral’ I do not mean ‘everyone forwarding this blog (ugh) on to their mom’s and grannies’.
I dearly wish I meant that, but I do not.
I mean the kind of viral where you buy all the cough and cold medicine you can and hope to hell the kids sleep for another hour because if you have to get up from the couch, something is going to get yelled at. Usually, it’s the cat. But that’s only because she drools.
I don’t have much in the way of coherency these days (see: cough and cold medicine). In fact, I’m not sure what it is I’ve been writing for the last week. It might be a recipe for cassoulet. I really like cassoulet. It’s tasty. I have been told I’m rather humorous when I’m hopped up on the cold meds though and I am taking that as a compliment.
But I want to keep up with this…(ugh, really? it’s like fingernails on chalkboards)…blog. And today, I was alive enough to do some editing even though I’m sure I will have to go edit out all the parts I edited in later.
In case you don’t know (which, you may not because I’m horrible at self-promotion) I wrote a book. It’s called Double Blind and it will be available in print just as soon as we can get it there.
In the meantime, I’ve been working on the second book of the series. It’s called Wizzy Wig. I’ve posted a piece from it before which I edited out. Earlier today I came across a small bit which I can’t remember writing but I love anyway.
I think you’ll get a kick out of it so here it is for my (ferchrissake, can somebody please come up with a different word for this?) blog:
Ahead of him on the sidewalk, Jake spotted a vaguely woman-shaped person struggling to anchor herself against some sort of rocket-powered dog. It pulled her along, oblivious to the rain, the mud, the puddles and the occasional scream of “I said leave it!”
As he neared the poor woman, he recognized the folds of her hood as his neighbor from across the street. She looked up at him as he walked past and he nodded. She relaxed her stance for long enough to smile.
“Oh, hey!” she said, clearly about to say more but just then, her dog had detected something nefarious in the neighbor’s lawn. The leash jerked sideways causing the woman to stumble into Jake who in turn, fell sideways into a rhododendron.
“Oh shit, sorry!” said the woman. She followed that statement closely with a slightly angrier “Oh Shit!” as the leash flew from her hands and the dog, free at least, tore across the lawn and into a laurel hedge on the far side. She shouted apologies one more time and dove after her rocket-dog.
Jake picked his grocery bag out of the rhododendron where it fell. He stuck his hand in the bag and felt around. Everything seemed to be in one piece.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said to no one and smiled. Although he felt sorry for the lady chasing down her dog, it made him feel slightly better to know that he wasn’t the only one having a crappy night.