This morning, as I was doing my hair in the bathroom, Catfish walked downstairs. This is nothing new, he does it every morning. But this morning was different. I could tell as soon as I clapped eyes on him because, even though he was wearing his favorite sweat pants (the blue ones with the white racing strip down the side), he was also wearing the vest to his Christmas suit.

Ah, it was going to be one of those days.

Those days don’t come very often. When they do, the only proper response is to grab the camera and roll with it.

Standing on the bottom landing to the stairs in sweat pants and a vest (no shirt – just the vest) Catfish informed me that he had a very important meeting this afternoon and that he needed to wear his shirt and tie so that he would be ready for it when he got home.

Really? Okay. What’s the meeting about?

Apparently, he was meeting with Uncle Ed (a very special doughnut maker) and Sir Topham Hatt to discuss the movie he was going to make entitled “Calvin and Hobbes 2″ wherein Pooh Bear saves the twins from the bad guys who have (for unknown reasons) put the twins in jail.

I know it sounds stupid but I was actually quite impressed that he got a meeting with Sir Topham Hatt. I hear he’s quite loaded.

So my son went to school this morning in a dress shirt, tie, vest and sweat pants. After he was completely dressed he turned around, smoothed down his vest and shirt tails and said

“I think Stephanie will like this.”

I might have peed my pants a little bit trying to keep a straight face.

Anyhoo, cut to this afternoon. I picked him up at school and, to my amazement, he still had on both the vest and the tie. And, as soon as I reminded him about it, he was excited to go to his meeting. Unfortunately there was a bit of a late start as we had to actually clean up the floor before we could convene but it all worked out eventually.

The following are my notes from today’s meeting.

Board Meeting Notes 5-20-10

Chairman: Catfish

Secretary: Me

Treasurer: Brian

Shareholders: Wellington, Rhino, Katzuhiro

5:25 Cleanup floor. Assemble chairs and table (empty box)

5:30 ‘Food time’ On the menu: Plastic Roast Chicken and simulated cheese sandwiches. Shareholder Wellington states for the record: “Hi Mama!”

5:32 Shareholder Wellington steals the Chair’s faux fried chicken. Cheese sandwiches have been replaced by wooden apples and disturbingly real-looking fake cheese.

5:37 The Chair states for the record: “Okay, let’s all have a happy snack!”  More DRLF cheese is offered. The Secretary  inadvertently steals said cheese from Shareholder Wellington who protests loudly and is admonished by the Chair to “Be nice or your out of the meeting!”

5:39 The Chair serves phony baloney and provides a 4″ x 4″ tablecloth with a lovely ‘race car’ pattern (gingham). Shareholder Wellington brandishes a fraudulent radish.

5:41 The Chair serves more mock chicken in the form of a ‘dead T-Rex’ offering the tail to the Secretary. He keeps the forehead for himself.

5:41 The door is heard to open downstairs. The Chair puts forward the motion that we all “Quick, hide the food!” in a very low whisper.

5:42 Treasurer Brian joins the meeting. The Chair offers him a fake pear.

5:43 The meeting recesses while the Treasurer goes back downstairs to procure a proper seat for himself and the Secretary. The Secretary thanks him upon return.

5:44 Shareholder Wellington forces the Treasurer to eat a toy potato.

5:45 The Secretary puts forward the motion that we start the meeting. The motion is vetoed by the Chair in favor of serving more counterfeit food.

5:45 The Treasurer puts forward the motion that we start the meeting. The Secretary seconds the motion. The Chair serves artificial watermelon and half a fake eggplant.

5:46 Shareholder Rhino, the dinosaur puppet, joins the meeting.

5:46 Shareholder Katzuhiro joins the meeting.

5:46 Shareholder Katzuhiro leaves the meeting.

5:46 The Chair refuses to start the meeting until he is able to serve the “Mackenroni and Cheese – NOT from a box, but already made up nice and warm.”

5:50 The Secretary grabs the Chair in an attempt to tickle him into divulging his movie plans. The Chair finally agrees to tell his plans with the caveat that “There will be surprises.”

5:51 Meeting participants have a happy happy snack.

5:51 Shareholder Wellington is reprimanded by the Chair for pretend-eating all the pretend food.

5:52 Chairman Catfish starts the discussion of Thomas #3: the Movie.

Plot: Thomas is on a dangerous mission. The bridge breaks and he falls. He lands in the water and his wheels break.

5:53 Discussion pauses to request that Shareholder Wellington refrain from eating Shareholder Rhino.

5:53 Chairman Catfish continues with Thomas #3: the Movie.

Plot: Thomas finds train tracks. (Where? In the water? No, in the dirt.) They go UP UP UP! And then they’re on the other side and a NEW engine is there named ‘Unkin.’

5:55 Doorbell rings. Meeting recesses in order to ascertain that the UPS delivery man has just delivered the Secretary’s new sleeping bag.

5:56 Meeting reconvenes. Chairman Catfish finishes the plot summary of Thomas #3: the Movie.

Plot: Thomas then finds robbers at Train Island and there was another good guy named ‘Chuggington.’ The End.

5:56 The Chair introduces his second movie idea “Rock Monster #1″

5:57 Shareholder Wellington requests a fictitious can of refried beans be opened to feed Shareholder Rhino. Chairman Catfish states for the record that RM#1 will have a ‘Rock Monster Smasher’ that can also dig crystals.

5:58 Shareholder Katzuhiro rejoins the meeting. The Chair begins to outline his last project idea entitled ‘Space Police.’ He states for the record that “It will have a Robot Police Dog.”

6:01 The Chair demonstrates the Robot Police Dog and introduces the supporting character of ‘Transformer Police Dog.’

6:01 The Chair demonstrates the transformative powers of Transformer Police Dog.

The Chair demonstrating how Transforming Police Dog transforms.

6:05 Meeting adjourned (in favor of going to the gym.)