Fri 14 May 2010
I went to the Safeway today. I had to have a prescription filled.
It’s cool, I’m okay.
When I turned in my script, the pharmacy tech told me to give her about fifteen minutes. I can do that. I need to go get sangria fixin’s anyways so I’m good.
I shopped.
I found lots of stuff. Most notably, I found Brian’s favorite cereal (Life) on sale for $1.00 a box which was awesome. Then I strolled over to get the fruit for the sangria. That went well.
On my way back from the produce section I passed the meat case and found some portobello mushroom sausages. So that’s dinner taken care of – again, awesome. I did get stopped by an employee to see if I was finding everything okay. I’m guessing that no one ever texts their husband about dinner in the middle of the Safeway meat department because that lady was confused as to what the hell I was doing.
But then I was done with my shopping and I still had about five minutes to spare.
I wandered.
This is not really a good idea ever because I end up buying shit like pickled okra (delicious, by the way) and Louisiana Fish Fry (don’t know yet) and four different kinds of hot sauce (aaaaall good.)
Today was no different except that before I started to wander, I decided to play The Grocery Store Game. I love the grocery store game! Plus, that meant I had to stick to The Rules of the Game and currently that means I can only buy stuff that is either
A) on sale and/or
B) less than $2.00.
Have you ever played the Grocery Store Game? I can tell you from experience that it is pastime with some merit.
When I lived in the south I invented the Asian Grocery Store Game. That one is was all about language.
The Rules state that, whenever you find yourself in an Asian grocery store, you have to seek out and buy whatever product had the least amount of English writing on it. Then you have to take it home and try to cook it immediately.
I fricken’ loved this game.
I ate (or at least tried) a ton of different stuff with this game. I discovered how to make Inari sushi this way! Of course I also once served bubble tea tapioca balls with tomato sauce and Parmesan cheese.
In my defense, I don’t speak any Asian languages at all so I had NO idea what the fuck I was doing. (For the record, that tapioca was done to perfection.)
Alas, this game is now somewhat defunct since the FDA decided all food should have at least a minimal amount of English labeling. It’s still kinda fun but knowing all the ingredients on the can kinda takes the element of surprise out of it.
So now I stick to the cheap game and abide by the $2.oo/on sale limit. Which, by the way, is harder than it seems like it should be. Let me just say this, about that: It is AMAZING how expensive groceries are.
Seriously.
Are you aware that it is almost impossible to buy a decent sized bottle of Tabasco for under $2.00 unless you’ve been clipping coupons?
However, if you really watch the sales, you can get some pretty good stuff. Like Life cereal for $1.00 a box!
Of course I have one caveat to my under $2.00/on sale rule. I am allowed to buy anything that is advertised in such a manner as to elicit an appreciative response. For instance:
Occasionally Top Foods will advertise “Yellow Curved Fruit” for $0.39/pound. I don’t even like bananas all that much but I am a HUGE fan of yellow curved fruit.
Once I saw this in their flier:
Speaking as a person with a degree in Botany, I would have to say that this is somewhat inaccurate.
Let me just repeat that:
Top Foods is claiming that Iceberg lettuce is a good source of chlorophyll.
Just so you’re aware, Iceberg lettuce, compared to all the rest of the vegetables available EVER, is probably lower on the list than say, purple potatoes and albino parsnips.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to buy it. Hell, potato chips and gummy fruit probably have more chlorophyll than this lettuce but I still think it’s awesome and I want it.
And this afternoon I found another gem. Not only did it follow all the rules (On sale AND under $2.00 – sweeeeeet) but it was also some of the most persuasive advertising I’ve seen in a while. Here, let me show you:
I'm willing to bet these kick ass.
Did you see that? Here, let me make that bigger for you:
Apparently you should be drinking milk, not whiskey.
