snickerpants.com

[wah-ter-fawl]

/noun

1. A waterfall, just like any other normal person thinks of one, with water, y’know, falling.

2. A urinal, preferably one with a button or lever to press when done peeing. If it is motion-sensitive, much (pantsless) waving of arms ensue post-peeing to try to trigger the flushing action. If the flushing noise is of excessive volume, the Catfish will plug his ears and run away (still pantsless) until the water stops. He may then try to make it flush again.

Well maybe you didn’t know it. And that’d be okay because just from reading some of the stuff posted on this website you might not have gleaned the knowledge that I am, in fact, a research scientist. Notice there are no CAPS there. I am not a PHd or a PhD or even a PHD. You know why?

Because I don’t want to work that hard.

No, really.

I thought about it for a long time and then came to the conclusion that all the people I know with a bunch of letters after their names work really really hard. More than I am willing to do at any rate.

But I do enjoy the science. So I found a nice little job as a molecular biologist. It’s good. I like it. I get to mess around with RNA and DNA and do all sorts of sciencey-type things.

One of the things I do is take cell cultures, or even pieces of tumor tissue, and extract all the RNA. I can then use the RNA to make all sorts of fabulous things happen.  It sounds way more complicated than it is. Mainly because all I really have to do is follow the instructions that come with the reagent I use to extract the RNA. (more…)

Scunscream
[skuhn-skreem]

/noun
1. A lotion or cream formulated to prevent children that are whiter than something that’s really REALLY white (we’re talking partial albino here) from being burned by the sun’s radioactive rays. Typically applied using the modern “spray as fast as you can before the child moves” method but occasionally employing the “Damn it. Sorry! I got it in your eyes/mouth.” method wherein said child coughs, spits and scowls for no less than twenty minutes afterward (can be as much as four hours). Scunscream is necessary to prevent “scunburned” skin.

Ow! You got it IN MY EYES! Daddy got Scunscream in my EYES!

Dang dude, I’m sorry. You moved while I was trying to get your neck. Sorry son.

That was FUCKING AWESOME.

I haven’t stopped laughing at this yet….

Octopus Crime
[ok-tuh-puhs krahym]

/noun, proper
1. Commander of the Autobots, protagonist of the Transformers Universe.  Also known as Convoy (Japan). When transformed, Octopus Crime takes on the shape of a red and blue semi-tractor trailer.

“Octopus Crime is made of all red and blue. So if you see red and blue all over a truck, that’s him!”"

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

So have you been doing anything different to deal with this whole economy bullshit?

I have.

Yes, I will admit it.

I’ve been clipping coupons. Like some sort of suburban housewife. Only, all the suburban housewives I know aren’t really housewives because they have good jobs. And, most of them wouldn’t be caught dead clipping coupons.

I have no such reservations.

It’s funny that every time I tell someone about my new hobby they always says the same thing:

“Oh, you use coupons?”

Then they try to qualify the smirk in their voice by saying “You can save a lot of money that way I suppose.” or some such rot designed to make me feel good that I’m saving money but at the same time convey the message that they themselves are above mere coupons. (more…)