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By Terry Pratchett

This is the first book in Terry Pratchett’s Johnny Maxwell series for children. And, unlike the Tiffany Aching/Nac Mac Feegle books, this book actually feels like it’s been written for a reader that prefers Cocopuffs to coffee in the morning. I like the idea that he is able to write for a less developed mind but still come up with some pretty ingenious ideas all the same. Johnny Maxwell receives a pirated version of the video game “Only You Can Save Mankind” from his friend Wobbler (Wobbler doesn’t really care to play the games as much as he likes to hack into them) After Johnny plays the game for a few days and gets pretty good at it he suddenly is contacted by the space invaders “Please don’t shoot. We surrender.” Well, I won’t spoil the rest of the book for you but it’s a bit like Ender’s Game in reverse or flipped around somehow and there’s Yo-less instead of Hot Soup or Bean. Never read Ender’s Game? Oh, that’s a shame, you should. It’s very good. Only You Can Save Mankind is sort of the child’s answer to Ender’s problem. A quick read for a coffee drinkier but I would recomend it to any Cocopuffs fan out there.

 For those of you dear family and friends, who have and/or are still willing to baby-sit our precious little gremlin, here are some snippets of adivce you may want to know:

• Catfish knows how to use a step stool (to get things off the counter), open a door, open a cupboard, bang on windows (using toys preferred), unplug cords, get up and down from chairs and turn on/off switches (preferably with his feet).• To get your attention he may put his feet on the table during dinner, slam cupboards and doors, try to get at your computer and/or try to press all the buttons on your DVD player. He is not allowed to do any of these things at home, but I don’t think he really cares too much. The best thing to do is redirect his attention to other things, any way you can.

• Catfish is extremely interested in busses, trucks, airplanes and any sort of large automobile. He will scream (very (more…)

By Terry Pratchett, narrated by Nigel Planer

Terry Pratchett would like it to be known that The Last Continent is not about Australia. It’s just vaguely Australian.

So here’s the funny thing about this audio book. It wasn’t until listening to this, the second book narrated by Nigel Planer I’ve heard, that I realized just from where I recognize his voice. Let me say my spiel about him first though. I enjoy his cadence and speech more than Stephen Briggs at times and in The Last Continent he did an excellent Australian accent. And, as he was speaking the parts of Rincewind I kept thinking to myself, “Self, where have we heard that voice before?” and to that I answered “Self, I have no friggin’ clue. But it does sound familiar doesn’t it?” After I finished the book I looked up what else he has narrated in hopes of getting some more of his work out of the library. All of a sudden, Bingo! I had stumbled upon the answer to my question! I knew I knew that voice. It turns out I was right, Nigel Planer played Neil the Worried Hippy in the British Comedy “The Young Ones” (1982-1984).

If you’re American and younger than 30 you probably don’t remember the Young Ones. If you’re American and older than say . . .40, then you’ve probably never heard of the Young Ones. But for those of you out there that remember watching the old reruns on MTV (before reality TV ruined everything) then you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

“That’s a friend of mine called Mike, That’s a friend of mine called Neil, and that’s a complete bastard I know called Rick….”

All that and a bag of chips now makes me want to go watch old 80′s British sitcoms. But this is completely beside the point. The Last Continent is really a fun book and Nigel Planer gives the characters the depth and vivacity they deserve. Especially the Senior Wrangler.

By Paul Strathern

Paul Strathern’s books are pretty interesting to read. They give you a basic understanding of the philosopher, where he came from (mentally and physically), what he did with his life, his influences and the impact he had on popular thought. I never took any philosophy in college and am only now becoming interested in what’s going on in that realm (though I’m not convinced it will hold me attention for more than 90 minutes at a time, just yet. Thank you Pail Strathern for solving this problem)

In this volume I learned that Kierkegaard is (one of) the founding father(s) of existentialism, the school of thought that delves into the meaning of existence. From the age of seven, Soren Kierkegaard was rigidly trained in logic by his overbearing and pessimistic (to say the least) father. This went so far as to be considered mental abuse by many modern thinkers. This left Kierkegaard with a unique ability to lose himself within himself and think, I mean reeeaally think about what it means to exist. His life was fairly torturous, in a self-inflicted sort of way and in the end everyone hated him for his stance against the church. But lots of people showed up for his funeral and decried those that hated him. Deeply repressed sexually, and farther left of center than most, Soren Kierkegaard definitely gave humanity a lot to think about.

It is becoming more and more obvious to me how and why many philosophers went mad or were just plain weird. All that thinking tends to put one on a plane of existence that the normal person just can’t cope with and live their lives in day-today fashion. If I had to think about this stuff while trying to get my toddler’s shoes on his feet, I’d be done for and he’d be going to day care in his socks.

By Terry Pratchett, narrated by Stephen Briggs

I think this may be the shortest Pratchett novel. More of a pamphlet actually. In Eric we meet up again with Rincewind, after he has fallen off the edge of the world, or perhaps after he was shot out into space, I can’t remember. Anyway, he’s trying not to die, which he is usually wont to do and Eric helps him out. And then back in. And back out again. And finally the luggage shows up to make everyone cower in fear while Rincewind affects his escape. There are overtones of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in here, especially the egg and cress sandwich, but that’s no reason to avoid reading it.

Stephen Briggs is back and narrating Pratchett’s work with aplomb. He does an excellent job.

By Frank Miller and Lynn Varley

300 is the legend of Thermopylae in graphic novel form. I actually didn’t know a damn thing about it until my husband came upstairs and said “Hey you want to see something really cool?” which is his way of saying “I totally want to see this movie when it comes out.”

Okay, first things first: it’s Ther-ma-po-lee. I didn’t know that. I was trying to talk about it at work and a friend looked at me as if I were on crack and said “TherMaPoLee! The Hot Gates!” To which I astounded because this guy knows everything. I mean, I thought I knew a lot but I don’t know anything compared to that guy! I think I could go to work tomorrow and say “Guzunder!” and he’d say “Well, it’s called that because it goes under…the bed.” I mean seriously, he’s a great person to have around when you need to know all sorts of strange shit. And, if you do the NY Times crossword puzzle, that can be quite often.

Birdwalking…so back to 300. This is a very well written graphic novel. At least, those parts I was able to read were very well done. Since I borrowed it from the library there were only two pages in chapter 3. I’m pretty sure Chapter 3 was a little longer than that, but beggars can’t be choosers, right? The story goes that Xerxes, Uber Badass wants to be King of everything and Emperor of the world except that tiny little Sparta (population: a little over 300) is basically giving him the middle finger. They will not give up their freedom and kneel to Xerxes, no matter how much he tries to bribe them. So he decides to just kill them. All of them. When all the nations under Xerxes control start whispering to the Spartan leader “Hey, just submit dude, they’re going to kill every single one of you. It’s not that bad, just give in.” he tells them to shove it, they’ll never give up their freedom.

So Xerxes moves all his forces to Sparta in order to annihilate them but the Spartans are tough bastards. There are 300 warriors left and they manipulate their final stand to Thermopylae, the “Hot Gates”, where the passage through to Sparta is too narrow for such an enormous army. This effectively makes the sheer size of Xerxes army a liability. They end up holding off the army for 3 days.

Of course they all die in the end, that’s pretty much inevitable. But the point is that they choose to die rather than submit themselves to the tyranny of an Emperor who thinks he’s a god.

I found the story well written but lacking in depth. Which, is okay because it’s a graphic novel, not a freakin’ encyclopedia. So I’ve requested some more reading material and maybe I’ll learn a thing or two. If you’re going to see the movie, why not spend 20 minutes and read the graphic novel on which the movie is based?

By Terry Pratchett, narrated by Nigel Planer

Masquerade is Terry Pratchett’s twist on the Phantom of the Opera, with witches and crazy people instead of well..I guess just crazy people. I don’t know for sure since I’ve never seen/read/heard/attended or even had summarized for me the storyline for Phantom of the Opera. But there are enough allusions in Masquerade to know it’s getting a good ribbing. I always like books with Nanny and Granny. Granny is one of my favorite characters.

Nigel Planer was a new narrator for me, I have never heard any of his work before. I thought he did rather a good job with the whole thing, although I imagine Granny Weatherwax to sound more like my grandma’s friend Mavis rather than the voice Mr Planer has given her. But I think he was closer to my imagined Granny than Stephen Briggs.  He also narrated “The Last Continent” which I will be listening to soon so we’ll see how well he holds up.

By Alexander McCall Smith, narrated by Lisette Lecat

The Kalahari Typing school for Men is the third (or is it the fourth?) book in the increasingly delightful No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series. Although this book was a little like The Empire Strikes back in that it had to have some down moments in order to have some up moments. In tKTSfM Mma Makutsi decides that she needs to earn some extra money and in order to do that she falls back on the one thing she knows how to do well: typing. If anyone is surprised here then I suggest you take up knitting because I think that the exciting world of literature may be too much for you.

But seriously, it is really wonderful to see Mma Makutsi finally get some of the recognition she deserves for that 97% she got on the final exams at the Botswana Secretarial College (the highest score any graduate has ever achieved) Though she saves most of her money she does splurge a little and buys a certain pair of green shoes with sky blue linings that those of us who have listened to the next book, In the Company of Cheerful Ladies, already (on accident mind you) have heard so much about.

Besides Mma Makutsi’s newfound success we meet up with a recovering depressive Mr. JLB Matekoni and watch as he so valiantly stands up to Mma Potokwani (of orphan farm fame) and refuses to fix her water pump. Insisting instead that she buy a new one.

All this and more await you if only you would read (or listen to!) this book. If you have a long commute, or perhaps you are packing up all your belongings in order to move, as we are, you will find that time spent listening to Lisette Lecat is not wasted. Her voice and cadence really pull you in and make you care more for these characters than you realize. Time well spent!

By Margot Livesey

Continuing on with the ghost stories theme for October, I picked up “Eva Moves the Furniture” on a recommendation courtesy of my public library. Kudos must be given to those fine folks because I found it to be a thoroughly enjoyable read.

EMtF is the story of Eva, whose mother died a few days after childbirth from influenza during the 1918 epidemic. Never knowing her mother, she grew up in the care of her aunt Lily and her father David. Around age 5 or so she is making herself a playhouse when a woman and a girl show up to admire her handiwork. It doesn’t seem strange to her that they are there and she talks to them just like normal people. She eventually finds out they are not normal people and that because of their presence in her life she has become somewhat isolated from other kids, adults and mainstream life in general.

The story winds through Eva’s life growing up in rural Ireland, her work as a nurse in an infirmary during the second world war, and eventually takes her back to her mother’s homeland to become the matron of an all-boys boarding school. I won’t say much more about the plot. It meanders quite a bit but with definite purpose and to say more would ruin small surprises along the way for you. I will say that EMtF was a very touching story. I did not expect the ending. It was sad and happy at the same time. I really enjoyed this book.

By Shirley Jackson

Ooooooo OOooOooOOOOooo OOOooooo. Scary Scary. Just in time for Halloween. The Haunting of Hill House was a new story to me but my husband tells me that it’s been made into a movie. Twice. Where the hell have I been? It was pretty creepy but I didn’t understand a lot of it. Four people (two women and two men) move to Hill House, a desolate and insanely built mansion that has a reputation for being evil, in the hopes of studying paranormal activity. Boy Howdy! That sounds like fun don’t it? Especially the part where the caretaker insists that she won’t stay after dark and tells them the nearest neighbors are too far away to hear them scream in the middle of the night. It’s like a carnival, only cheaper!!

What they fail to realize is that paranormal activity is studying them as well. Well, I guess I should have seen that one coming right? I won’t give away the ending but I will say that I can see how this story must have been made into a pretty creepy movie, at least if it was done right.

My biggest complaint is that you never know why Theo screamed for Eleanor to keep running and for God’s sake, don’t turn around. Here’s the scariest part (in my opinion):

“God. God. Who’s hand was I holding?”