snickerpants.com

By Carl Hiaasen, narrated by George Wilson

So this is another of Carl Hiaasen’s novels. Firstly lemme say that I think his novels would make a great read but since I’ve had little time to read (and since I’m in the middle of reading 14 years worth of HellBlazer comics right now) I have been listening to him on CD. The added benefit of this is that Brian will listen to them as well. That way we can compare and contrast what we liked or didn’t like about the stories. That said, I would like to actually sit down and read a couple of his books because I think the experience of reading them would be very different and just as enjoyable. And before I forget to I’ll say that the reader on this particular cd is very talented. Double Whammy is the story of a down-on-his-luck private detective that happens onto a case involving murder-crazed yokel bass fishermen. It’s a story that could only happen in Florida and though it is a bit exaggerated, it is hard imagine that something of this ilk hasn’t already happened in the Sunshine State. Though he doesn’t use his cast of characters like Christopher Moore (Moore likes to bring old characters back in each novels because “they’re just sitting there with nothing to do”) Hiaasen does keep us up to date with one or two of his old friends with each book. I like when authors do that. In DW we meet a character that will become a reoccurring personality (maybe more – I don’t know yet) “Double Whammy” is Hiaasen’s fifth book but only the second book he claims full credit for. The mechanics of the story are still a little green and rough around the edges but the story has enough intrigue to keep you involved. I think Hiaasen has yet to hit his stride with this book but it is apparent that he’s well on his way.

By whoops! I don’t have the name citation – I’ll try to find it.

So my brother-in-law is/was a big time comic book geek cum video game geek. This has worked out very well for my husband and I (okay, mostly for my husband) because he has all sorts of comic books and games that A) you can’t really get anymore and B) we can’t afford to begin with. The latest boon was the loan of his entire HellBlazer single-issue comic book series. I had borrowed a couple compendiums from the library but they were incomplete and jumped wildly around in the story line so I mentioned my interest in the series to Matt. He promptly dug through his extensive collection to present me with a rather intimidating box full of John Constantine. After reading the first few pages of the first issue I realized I had already read it in one of the library compendiums so I skimmed through the next few to re-acquaint myself with the plot and to see where I had left off. As it turned out the book I read ended with volume 10 so I picked up volume 11 and resumed the story. To my amazement the story arc ended with volume 12. Volume 12? Why the hell didn’t they just include 11 and 12 in the compilation book? I’ll don’t know. The first 12 were rough and a bit dodgy on the plot. As many people who have read the HellBlazer series have commented, the story is wildly inconsistent in quality. To which I heartily agree. The Yuppies from Hell story-line was ridiculous but the Tongue of Fire idea was neat.

By Robert Graves

Whew. I don’t know how historically accurate Robert Graves is (although all the sources I could find in a 30 minute Google search credited him as being pretty accurate) but “Claudius the God”, the sequel to “I, Claudius” was a compelling read. CtG picks up where IC leaves off – with Tiberius Claudius being crowned Emperor after the mad Caligula is assassinated. Narrated in the first person, this is the tale of how Tiberius Claudius dedicates his rule to rebuilding and repairing the mess that his ancestors (or, in Caligula’s case, nephew) made of his beloved Rome. His dream is to one day be able give the government back to the people by restoring the old Republic system, an idea in which he staunchly believes. But thousands of little reasons, and several rather large ones, keep him from actually abdicating (does an Emperor actually abdicate? Do they step down? Perhaps they just go out one day for some milk and don’t return?) the throne. After more than a decade he realizes that he can’t give the government back to the people because they don’t really want it and wouldn’t know what to do with it if they had it. Ach! What is a gods-fearing Emperor to do? Again we witness the rare and wonderful talent of Robert Graves, a storyteller so masterful that it is difficult to resolve fact from historical fiction. At points in the book he delves so deep into detail that it seems almost impossible to credit a contemporary writer with such innate knowledge. The end result is that you want to believe it is true all the way down to the white sacrificial bulls. The best part is that most of it is true (those crazy Romans!) If you like historical fiction I definitely recommend “I, Claudius” Your reaction to the first book will determine if you want to read “Claudius the God” but I bet you a wooden nickel that you’ll want to.

My dearest and lovely Catfish,

You are my joy and pride. If you father is the love of my life than you are the light. You have brought a happiness to our home that neither of us could have predicted. I love you so much my son that it hurts. But I’m curious about something…What the hell are you saying?

I understand when you want Rice Chex and Frosted Mini Wheats. I understand when you see airplanes up in the sky. I even understand when you want to go outside. But what, in the name of God, did you want me to do with the birdhouse this afternoon? Did you want me to open the door? Because that made you cry. Did you want me to take it a apart a little bit?  Because that made you cry too. Did you want me to take the Hot Wheels car out of it? Because there was no car inside of it. Did you just want me to find the Hot Wheels car for you? If so, then why did you immediately stick it down your shirt and hold it there for ten minutes? (more…)

By William Kotzwinkle

I borrowed this book from the library based on the review posted by Christopher Moore on his website. He recommended a book by William Kotzwinkle, the author of ET the Extraterrestrial. Since I read the ET books when I was younger I thought this might be a good pick. Boy, was I surprised! “Bear Went Over the Mountain” is the hilarious story of how Art Brumhall takes a sabbatical from his job as a University professor to write a book. At first he tries hard to copy a best-selling novel but on the day he finishes this book his house burns down – with his book inside (and, no, he hasn’t got a copy) In despair, Art builds himself another little cabin and sets to writing his second book. This time he doesn’t try to copy a book. This time he writes from his heart about nature and how it can change your life. On the day that he finishes this second book he carefully places it inside a briefcase, goes out to the field behind his cabin, hides it in a small hollow underneath a tree branch (in case his house burns down again) then goes to town to celebrate. After he leaves, a bear wanders out to see what the man has hidden. He jimmies the hinges open, gives the book a good sniff and decides it’s inedible. But just as he’s going to throw it away, he reads the first few lines. Then he reads some more. After a while he decides that the book is destined to be a smash hit so he steals it, breaks into a shop to steal a suit, and heads to Manhattan. What follows is the wonderfully absurd account of how the bear becomes the next big American Author and how poor Art Brumhall deals with his loss of fame and fortune. William Kotzwinkle sums up the urban experience by contrasting it against the experience of a bear. Many paragraphs end with the sentence “This is because he was a bear.” And every time you read it, it just gets funnier. Insightful, clever and witty, “Bear Went Over the Mountain” is a must-read for those of you that enjoy whimsical fiction.

By Carl Hiaasen, read by Stephen Hoye

Carl Hiaasen was recommended to me by several people. So, in hopes of breaking my addiction to the B&B mystery series I borrowed this audiobook from the library. Half of me wishes I had borrowed the book and read it. Then the other half went to the used book store and bought a copy so that I can own it. “Skinny Dip” follows the life of Joey Perrone, a sweet woman whose eyes are beginning to open up to her husband’s lecherous ways on her dive into Atlantic ocean after he tosses her overboard on their Anniversary Cruise. Then things get a little complicated. Meandering through the Everglades of Florida we meet more interesting and possibly homicidal people. My favorite character is the Police detective that tracks down the story more out of curiosity to see how it’s going to turn out rather to see anybody convicted. Hiaasen introduces characters in a way that makes you want to know more about them, even the asshole ones. The Bad guys in this story are definitely bad while the good guys are up to their necks in sweet revenge. And a tidy ending sees enough justice dealt out that the reader doesn’t feel cheated. Stephen Hoye, the reader, was excellent in his characterization of personalities. His rhythm and pacing added another dimension to the book, seamless and very well read. Highly recommended.